Labels given to us and how they edit our identities

The way other people think of us is not always in our control. We may try our best to present ourselves in a certain way by editing our speech, looks, and personality, but first impressions can be immediately influenced by how we are introduced or referred to.

Winnipeg, in particular, is a small city. More often than not, when you meet someone for the first time, you will discover a mutual friend or acquaintance. In my experience with meeting new people, all introductions seem to follow the same script:

Hey _____, this is John Smith's (sister/brother/friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/cousin/ex-girlfriend/roommate) Sara. 


Sara, this is John, he is best friends with my sister's boyfriend's cousin. 

From these first words, impressions are immediately made about you, based off who you are connected to in the introduction. I spent a lot of my life being introduced as ____'s girlfriend, instead of just Sara Harrison. It never really bothered me when I was younger, because at that age I just wanted to belong to something, or someone. Now, I just want to be introduced as myself and maybe throw in the mutual connection later. I feel that when I'm introduced in regards to who I'm related to, my entire identity (in the eyes of that person) is warped by what they think of my connection. 

For example,
John, this is Sara. She's Tracy's little sister.
Sara, this is Mike's older brother, John.

Sara knows Mike is really intelligent and has a great, sarcastic sense of humour. John knows Tracy from high school and has heard really scandalous rumours about her. People often take this knowledge and transfer it to  the person they're meeting.

Some of my girl friends are often introduced as _____'s little sister and feel like their identity is overshadowed by who their sibling is, whether she is gorgeous, or incredibly charming, or is the Harvard Law School-type smart. And after being introduced as related to someone so smart and great, they feel like who they are is edited by who their connection is. Instead of being able to make your own impression, you become who your connection is. I guess, hence the expression, "you are who your friends are."